Church is Hard

This morning I read a post about how church is hard. 

Church IS hard but for more reasons than one can really list. 

Church is not the building. Church is the body of the building. Church is your brothers and sisters in Christ. Church is a Family and a safe place where you can come for support and for growth.

But while that is how a church is supposed to work, and for some people it does, it doesn't sound inviting for the people who have families that are battlegrounds. If the blood or marriage family they have isn't safe, what makes a big building with 4 walls with a pack of strangers safe?

If the believer has a family who beats them down, berates them, belittles them, and tells them they are not good enough, what would make them think that the church is safe?

Church should be a group of people you can gather around and feel safe with. If you are having a hard time you can trust them. Here is the issue. 

"How is your husband treating you?"

"Where is your wife today?"

"How is your cancer treatment going?"

"Any luck on the fertility treatments?"

"What happened? Did you fall to get that bruise?"

"Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring?"

"Why are you crying?"

"Did you hear that....?"

"Did you know that...?"

"I saw on Facebook that your mom posted about..."

"Why aren't the pastors kids here?"

"When is your husband coming home from...?"

"How did .... die?"

"Why would you let your kids...?"

I can sadly say I have been doing my "Church going" from home on Sunday mornings. I have been studying the Bible and learning as much as I can through my own devises. I have strayed away from the tradition of Church even though I believe strongly in keeping the Sabbath day Holy. I can say that through different times in my life I sometimes choose to keep Saturday as my Shabbat (Hebrew version of the sabbath day) and other weekends I will keep my Sunday as my Holy day. I CHOOSE not to work based on principle ONE day a week. I choose to rest and rejuvenate myself in God. 

While it is often looked down upon that I do not attend a Church it is not because I do not want to. It is because I do not feel safe. I am not safe around people I should trust daily, the things said are just as powerful as being hit by a bus. Why do I want to make myself a target by walking into a "church" that only does the same thing I get at home on a daily basis? AND to make it worse nobody would believe me if I told them the truth. So, I make up excuses each week as to why I can not go, so that I can save myself from the torture of being whispered about while I am standing 10 feet away. I am okay if I am being talked about because I know that is a small town and everyone likes to know everyone elses business but I do not. I do not care who did what. I do not care where the preachers kids are on Sunday morning. I do not care if your husband isn't at church because mine isn't either! I don't care if your kids said a bad word in the parking lot of the church because they didn't know it was a bad word. I DON'T CARE!!!

I however, will be here to listen if you need to talk.

I refuse to cast judgement. 

I will share in your frustration but will not hold it against someone because of how you feel.

I will choose to make my own decisions on how I feel about someone.

I will NOT listen to gossip about you and your family.

When gossip begins, my answer is "I really don't think this is our business".

I understand the fear of walking into church each Sunday Morning and hearing the whispers. Not only whispers though, sometimes I get direct questions. Questions that are oftentimes tough to smile with tears in my eyes and answer saying I am okay, my husband is great, my kids are awesome, my family is perfect, and these bruises are only from where I slipped and fell (oh clumsy me...). When I really want to walk out that door and never come back because the house of God is the last place we are supposed to lie!

The reality of it is, we as Christians should step up and change the way we are seen.

We should never judge someone. PERIOD

We should not gossip and share with the world what someone else is going through,

We should be trustworthy.

We should be an open arm, open door policy.

We should KEEP OUR MOUTHS SHUT.

We should LOVE everyone.

We should be a support beam for those hurting.

We should be gentle and understanding.

We should NOT base our feelings on someone based on gossip.

We should be Christians!!!

Plain and simple. We should follow the BIBLE and be exactly what it says we should be. Shouldn't we be walking in God's path? This surely doesn't feel like we are on the right path but it wouldn't be hard to get back to it!

I challenge each of you who read this to make it a personal goal to watch what you say and how you handle gossip and judgement this week! It is not our place to judge and it is our place to stand strong for those who need it most.

This text is written on SEVERAL people's experiences. It is a compiled letter of pain and hope. Not all of these scenarios apply to one person and should  be considered as a message rather than a story about ones self.